(exactly what it sounds like)
This song popped into my head last night. I haven't listened to or thought about it in years. I don't think it's cool anymore, but it's been a long time since being cool was important to me. Of that, this blog post can be the evidence.
I first heard it in, I think, 2003 or 2004. I was in grade 10. I was sitting in Communications tech class, at a table alone except for a boy I had a crush on, who I was also simultaneously terrified of. He was listening to a discman - back then, the cool and normal way to listen to music was on CDs. I used to feel like spinning silver disks were life rafts. For this reason I carried an 1/8" inch audio splitter in my bag. I thought maybe I could float out of some imagined storm and into intimacy.
In this class we made a short film on VHS tape, and I made intricate ball point pen drawings of computers (I still have them, and think they are a testament to how precise and patient you can be when you're lonely). I think I only handed in two assignments for this class (the film, these drawings), and was passed by virtue of these drawings alone. I overheard my teacher, who's name in my memory sounds like Mr. Neelan but may not be, at a parent teacher interview describing me to another student, "Sarah's not like other girls." I thought it was a compliment at the time, and now I know that it wasn't. I also know that I am.
Anyway, rewind. We are sitting in the classroom. The lights are flourescent and there is something we're supposed to be working on but we're not. I don't remember warning him - I just remember unplugging his headphones, and adding mine. This song was playing. I didn't ask him for the name of the band, instead I remembered the lyrics and googled them. I still do this often when I like a song, and every time feel clever.
Less than a year later, this song was playing over and over on a four song playlist as I lay quietly waiting to die. Or course, that is another story - maybe more silly and certainly more melodramatic than this one.