From summa . . .
I was in my pal Alexandra Mackenzie's music video! Long day full of selfies . . . costume changes . . . bedazzled bikes . . . set build, take down, re-build, etc. etc. Making things.
In other news, can't stop listening
. . .
To be honest, as I make this post and revisit these pictures I feel like I should be happy - I certainly was on the day we shot this video. But it's difficult when things are so strange and uncertain.
I will be moving out of Dream House in about a month and a half, a bittersweet and possibly overdue ending. What began optimistically has become a burden. I have skin I need to shed, a heavy old self I need to crawl out from under. This Dream has become a nightmare - yin into yang, as day becomes night.
I don't know how to contextualize this past year and a half but as an experiment. I have tried out a lot of ideas about what kind of life I want to have, what kind of work I want to make, and why - and I would be lying if I said I have concrete answers. But I can say without a doubt some things that haven't worked for me. Being responsible for a house is a burden I am ready for - but unwilling to take on for someone else's profit. Property is robbery/property is freedom. The dichotomy has never been clearer to me, and the next house I look after will be my own.
Indeed, I feel the need to say no to many aspects of my life. I've said yes consistently for the past year when it comes to projects, and I've been rewarded in them any times over - but I now I need to focus, choose, and trust that the nightmare in turn becomes the dream.